Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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