I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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