I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
