You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
