i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My bed smells like the plague
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
