The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
