I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
