I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
