they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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