he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
