to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
