absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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