C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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