im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
