don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you inspire me to be a worse person
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
