You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
