i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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