All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
...so i touched it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
