after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
