Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
