I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
