that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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