Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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