Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
