I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
