I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
