Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
