I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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