let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
