Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
