none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
