did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
