Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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