That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
