so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
