In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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