Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
