WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
