i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
