Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
