It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
