Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
