ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
