i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
