How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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