problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
