Got a toothbrush?
another moral hangover. fuck.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
