He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
