I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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