i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
