I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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