have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
