i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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